*again, apologies for the many, many pictures of my face. It’s a lot.
So the end of June marked 1 year since I started my weight loss ‘journey’ (bleugh, cliché- I know) … my “Weightloss-iversary” if you will. It’s been difficult at times, but I’ve found it incredibly helpful to have everything documented on here and my Instagram.
I think I said in my ‘365 days’ post that I was aiming to lose 6 stone by summer. Well, that hasn’t happened. My surgery at the beginning of April was definitely a setback in terms of both my eating and exercise. I will be the first to admit that trying to do a full-blown workout 2 weeks after surgery was not my brightest idea. And while I physically felt pretty normal after the first month, I was still exhausted a lot of the time. Food wise, I jumped straight into exam season and started a love affair with Snickers (weird choice, right?). Now I have a bit more time over summer, I am really trying to make eating better a priority and I am feeling the benefits of it.
As you probably know (because I bang on about it enough), I am obsessed with the weight loss hashtags on Instagram. I love following other people’s journeys, and I also find it really motivating. While I was doing my regular creep on there the other day, however, I did see something that got me thinking. Someone posted something to the effect of “People who lose weight don’t deserve congratulations because this is something they should be doing”.
Yeah okay, I am not going to deny the fact that this was something that I needed to do for my health, my happiness, my confidence and my mental state (as and when I was ready to do so, not just because I ‘should’). But it can be a pretty lonely journey. I don’t write or post about my weight as a way of seeking congratulations or to glorify it in any way. I share this really personal aspect of my life because I genuinely appreciate the support I receive from people, and to potentially help or support anyone else who needs it. It also stems from the fact that this is a mental journey as well as a physical one. What I see in the mirror every day is probably different from the reality, as it is for a lot of people. Sharing this allows me to recognise that actually, yeah, I have made progress- even if I can’t see it myself.
Okay, cool, rant over.
In terms of actual numbers, over the past year I have lost:
- 5.2 stone (73 pounds/ 33kg)
- 8 inches on the bust (but as I mentioned before, this is an absolute nightmare on the bra front. I don’t have the money to support buying bras for shrinking boobs)
- 8.5 inches around the under bust (as above)
- 10 inches on the hips
No, I’m not exactly where I want to be. But I never imagined 12 months ago that I would be able to get this far. I’m not here to promote some quick fix diet or some exercise regime. There is no one way of doing things. It is honestly a matter of finding something that works for you, as and when you feel ready to do so. If I had to give one tip that I found helped me the most, it’s to wait until you are ready and in the right head space. I can’t count the amount of different diets I had tried in the past (Special K twice a day was a STRUGGLE), and none of them worked. I believe that the only reason that things have stuck this time round, is because I felt ready.
As I mentioned in my last post in this style, I lack a lot of full body photos. But I have dug through the Facebook archives and found a few to do before and afters with.
Okay, this first one kills me and isn’t actually a direct outfit comparison. But I saw everyone doing this “Post a pic of yourself from 2012 compared to now” thing on Facebook, and I thought I would make one for personal viewing. But here I am, posting it on the internet for all to see.
2012 was, clearly, not my year. Aside from the obvious eyebrow issues (I swear thin eyebrows were cool at some point), I was so uncomfortable in myself. Anyone who knows me knows that my hands are one of my most hated features. It seems like such a ridiculous thing to be hung up on, but I hate to think the amount of money I spent on fake nails to try and make my hands look thinner. While I’m still not 100% happy in them, I can see and recognise the difference between these pictures (and I’m not mad about it).
I lived in this shirt last year. I loved being able to hide my body and pretend that all of my insecurities didn’t exist. I wouldn’t wear anything like this now, but it does mean I can use the shirt as a winter pyjama top or potentially an art smock (if I were so inclined to do so).
This was also a firm 1st year favourite. It made my body shapeless, and that was what I was aiming for. I think I fooled myself into thinking that I was happy wearing clothes like this, but I really wasn’t. I’m glad that I’m now in a place where I’m not ashamed of my body, and I can wear something a little more figure hugging without feeling like I look terrible.
This one’s cheating a little on the comparison front. I don’t think I actually have the pink dress any more, but I thought the jacket was worth comparing. I’m pretty sure it was a really hot day when the picture on the left was taken, but I refused to take off the jacket because I hated my arms so much. I’m still not the #1 fan of my arms, but I would wear this jacket now because I want to, rather than because I feel I have to.
God I hated this dress. Throwback to summer 2015 and my dad and step- mum’s wedding in Florida. It was so uncomfortable, showed all my lumps and bumps, and really did me no favours. Luckily, the wedding photographer was more obsessed with taking pictures of my sister so I didn’t have too many taken of me. But I was incredibly self-conscious for the whole day and made all attempts to cover up my body, where possible.
This year has been a whirlwind. While it’s great to look at the physical comparisons, the change in my mental state and confidence is invaluable.
Again, I can’t thank you enough for all the support that you have given me. It can feel really overwhelming to deal with this on your own, and I couldn’t be more grateful to have such incredible friends and readers.